My body is MY body

I discovered the art of masturbation at age 7, that's as far back as I can remember anyway.

On several occasions I was caught masturbating by my mother at which point she explained to that I shouldn't touch myself because 1) it was not okay and 2) I could injure myself...!? For the next 9 years of my life I felt guilty for merely pleasuring myself, an act that only seemed natural to me. Mean while I found myself having multiple sexual experiences with my female playmates in the disguise of games such as "doctor" and "house." Needless to say, I felt guilty about those indulgences as well.

When I finally started to think for myself around 16, I realized that masturbation was in fact a natural and healthy practice...one that I should not feel guilty and perverted about!

I share such a personal story to demonstrate how parental figures depict sexual acts as forbidden behaviors. How often do parents encourage sex or at least speak of it in front of a child younger than 15 years old? Very rarely...

Could this be fostering unsafe practices...because youth want so badly to feel pleasure, but they fear getting caught and being punished?? I don't doubt it!

It is very difficult to ask questions about sex in the first place if we are taught from such a young and influential age that it is forbidden (i.e. bad). If we were to ask, wouldnt that implicate us as lewd and promiscuous, even if we had no intentions of participating in sexual acts? Never-mind going to buy a condom, because that most definitely indicates intentions of sexual acts which portrays you as...what? a...slut, pervert, whore, sexually deviant...?

Sexuality is socially constructed. It is constructed to control us by filling us with shame, guilt, and fear. It just another way for the neo-conservative, radical christians to control us for their own benefit.

My body is MY body. Ultimately, I should decide what I do with it so long as it does not legitimately hurt others. The bottom line is, we should be able to be open about our sexuality without being stigmatized.

The Inspiration

This blog was inspired, in part, by my father. After having a very long and heated discussion about the "gross" appearance of our neighbor's grass he told me to start my own blog to write down all my feelings, opinions, ideas, etc...

Here's the story on the grass:
My parent's were expressing their dissatisfaction with the new neighbors because they don't cut their grass, which apparently has a negative impact on their own lives...well, I think that is fucking ridiculous. It's just grass and it's not their grass. They don't have to like the overgrown weeds, but they don't need to judge these people for not wanting to cut, because that's their decision. Just because my parents think that the length and appearance of one's grass says something about the character of that person, does not mean it is true!

Somehow this discussion on overgrown weeds let to a full-out conversation on the status of queer homeless youth, initiated by me of course. My father seems to think that people of color, apart from their sexual orientation or gender identity, have the proper opportunities to create a "suitable" life....and that if only they took more advantage of those opportunities then there would be less homelessness, drug-dealing, and crime. I completely disagreed with him explaining that it is just not that fucking simple and the factors against people of color and other marginalized groups greatly outweighed the resources supporting their humanity. At this point I began ranting and raging about the challenges facing queer homeless youth, especially the problem with police brutality which is supported and fostered by state politicians, like former Mayor Rudy Giuliani who started the "Quality of Life" campaign which gave more privilege and luxury to the already privileged and luxurious white, upper-class assholes. This in turn left many queer homeless youth without anywhere safe to go....daily bashed, arrested, and driven from the Christopher St. Piers in the West Village of New York City. To the white, upper-class society they were nothing more than trash covering "their" streets and "threatening" the purity of their children. All bullshit.

Driving them out will only push them into another neighborhood in which more privileged folks will look for ways to throw out the "trash." It doesn't make any sense and it is time to address the root of the issue, which has more to do with the culture we live in than us queers, don't ya think?